I am on a flight home from touring the UK with my band. I had hoped to finish this story before now, but, hey, better late than never, right?
It's amazing, but, two weeks later, every single detail of the night of my fight is still so vivid in my mind. I hope it will always be this way.
I had a great time in the UK.... It is an incredible gift to be able to entertain people who love what you do.

But, man, I'm ready to get back to healthy food and good training every day. And I really missed Brandy and Pluto.

So, I know where my story had left off.... ‘DING' the round had ended......

I got up from the mount, got off of him. Damn it. I was in a position to try to win there. I went back to my corner. Hmmm. Legs feel a bit uncertain.

I heard Sam say "OK man, I think you won that round". "Really?", I thought.... I can barely think.....

I have no idea what else they said to me. Marc- Andre's voice was soothing, Sam's excited. In retrospect, I really like that combo.
I couldn't hear them. My vision was blurred. I was bleeding. My head was mumbled "glurrp elt smirten"..... But I wanted to fight so bad. I wanted to jump on him. I wanted to rip and tear and scratch. I felt like an animal. A fucking animal.

And I loved it.


Y'know when you play video games, you usually have a 'Damage Meter', a little bar showing how much more damage you can take till your character 'dies'? Surprisingly, that's kind of accurate.

I was really, really well conditioned. My energy was back, and I was ready to go. But my 'Damage Meter' was low. I was vaguely aware that I couldn't keep taking shots to the head. That, if I did, the accumulation of shots would weaken my knees or stun me or or confuse me or do somethin' bad....


The second round was all good. I was definitely fresher, strong, did some good wrestling to control the fight. I landed some great knees from the clinch that got a big reaction from the crowd. I felt strong, and my confidence was starting to soar. I was going to win this fight.
Then, one quick combination hit me. (I am describing what happened TO me, because this is all from my point of view. I can't say 'he threw a combination at me', cuz that's not from my POV.... man, you are viewing a fight from such a bizarre, singular perspective.....)
These punches were not as hard as many, MANY, that I had been hit with earlier. But the ACCUMULATION of damage shut me down a little more.

I'm not sure what happened next, but we ended up on the ground. When I watch the video, I see me grab a nice single leg, and use a chest pressure takedown to get the fight to the ground. But I could not swear in a court of law that that's what happened. In fact, I can't imagine HOW I did that. My 'Damage Meter' was on 0. The accumulation of damage had shut me down.

Now, if I could have had 20 seconds, 30 seconds to rest, maybe, just maybe, I would have been able to recover yet again. Then again, maybe not.

But I had zero seconds.

I felt a leg sneak over my neck. I felt a hand grab it's own foot. I felt my blood flow to my neck get interrupted. I felt it all, but I couldn't react. I had to tap. It was over. And I was not victorious today.

People who saw me fight told me how well I fought, and said "You just got caught", meaning it was just a bad turn of events that let me somehow get "caught" in a triangle. Not only do I think that is wrong, I think that is very disrespectful to the guy who 'caught' you.

Chris had to hit me enough times to drive that 'Damage meter' down. And I learned that night that I have a higher than average 'Damage Meter'. That I could take more damage than most. That I had a big heart.

He also had to survive my attempts to finish him, until he could damage me enough.

Then, had to act while I was stunned. He had to sense that that was the right time, that I was hurt. And he had to execute. I didn't 'get caught'. Chris won.



I really really hurt emotionally as I sat there on the mat. I could hear the crowd, feel Chris' celebration. I never, not EVER, thought about losing. It really hurt.




In the days after the fight, I analyzed it in my mind countless times. I went over everything. And I am proud of how I fought. Hell, anyone who get's into the ring or cage and puts themselves in danger to fight for the entertainment of others should be proud of themselves. And anyone who mocks them should be viewed with distain.

There are things I did well, and other things I look at and can't beleive how poorly I did them. But it's a fight. And anything can happen.


Mark Bocek, a great UFC fighter at Xtreme Couture Toronto (where I train), just pulled me aside this morning after pro class. He told me that he watched my fight, and that I fought really well. That it was a very good first fight. That meant a lot to me.


Well, I lost my first professional Mixed Martial Arts fight. But it was an amazing experience. Incredible. The most incredible experience I've ever had.

I am planning to fight again in November, so now I go back to the gym, back to this odd lifestyle that I love. I hope I can live this adventure for a few more years.
Thank you Brandy.

And Thank you to all my teachers, Sam, Misha, Horodescki, Hominick, Bocek, Spider. Thanks to Ian Dawe for training with me every day, and being my friend.

And thanks to you for reading this.


if you want to watch my fight, go to vimeo.com/1448065